Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
