Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
