That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
