is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just googled if crying burns calories
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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