The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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