My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
