he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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