There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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