3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
