I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
