New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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