man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
