I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
