He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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