Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
