sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
