it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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