i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
