I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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