Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's great music for shaving your balls
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
