you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
