if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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