The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
