but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
