Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
