I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
