Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize