The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
