You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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