two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
