Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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