ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
