found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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