she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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