Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is wine microwaveable?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
