i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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