i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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