I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
3pm strippers are depressing
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
