What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
