awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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