So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
