You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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