Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
