Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's rum buckets o'clock
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
