So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
