toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
