Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need to align my fucking chakras
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
