Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think i got beer on your cat.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
