he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
