I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
