my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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