Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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