i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
