I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize