No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize