Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
