To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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