I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize