Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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