So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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