My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize