We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
