I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
