She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
