Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
