Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i now understand why vodka
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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